Faceless Friday: Part 115

I have been awake for a total of ten minutes and have already managed to throw my back out. It turns out that two crazy and wild dogs, rain, wet grass and me do not mix very well. As in they pull this way, I slide that way, and the back goes… yep, it just goes. But, pain and little old lady walking aside, it is FRIDAY and that means something around these parts… it means it is time for Faceless Friday and there is never a shortage of things to be grateful for, so let us begin.

Friendship. Real friendship. The sort of friendship that means you never have to worry about your friends sleeping with your boyfriends, or going bat shit crazy on you because of a jealousy that doesn’t even make sense. The sort of friendship where you can unload your heart and know that it is still safe and that they love you even when you are weak and confused. Those friendships rock my face off time and time again.  I am so blessed to have a web of friends to catch me when I slip into depression or self-defecating humor.  You know the type, the type that listen to everything and still tell you that you are okay. I have those friends, and for that I am forever grateful.

A new job.  I am working at the tattoo parlor and will now be working in the wee morning hours at a store around here.  I am grateful that I have the opportunity to make money to support myself as I pursue my dreams.  (I’m also grateful I have dreams). I am grateful that I keep putting myself out there and getting amazing returns. I am grateful for the opportunity to pursue these dreams.

Codependency. Okay, I’m not necessarily grateful that I am Codependent, but I am grateful to see it for what it is and be able to do something about it, even if it takes the rest of my life.  Many people are confused when I say that I am codependent, it is not that I am dependent on being in a relationship, but I am dependent on people being completely fucked up. I am addicted to addicts and all that that entails. I always have been. Always. And I slip from time to time into that old nagging feeling of “say this and it will change them” or “do this and they will see the light”. Being in recovery means I do not take responsibility for other’s actions and that I stop myself from trying to fix people. “Not my monkeys, not my circus”…. Or zoo… because really how many monkeys are at circuses? That’s confusing.

The Beasts. I love these dogs like no other and they love me just the same. (I just sang that as I typed it). They are a constant comfort and reminder to stay alive and keep my shit together… keep swimming.

And now for the short list, because, well real life is calling and all:

Coffee (YOU are my sunshine), hazelnut creamer (you are the sunbeams), allergy meds (thank you), a new bed!!,music, art and drawing again, being able to express myself in one way or another, new piercings and new tattoos, knowing I am loved, Coke, finally being able to eat again, and you, the best people on the interwebs, you dear Craughers keep me humble and feeling loved. THANK YOU!

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