This is my ONE HUNDREDTH Faceless Friday post!!
Before I begin on all of the things that rocked my face off this past week, I wanted to take a moment to thank you, Craughers, for reading these posts faithfully. I appreciate your feedback, your support, your humor and your love. Faceless Friday has become a very important tradition/ritual in Craughing Land and it would not be possible without all of you. YOU rock my face off!
There were about 153 things that rocked my face off this past week, but I think I am going to add those to the short list, and concentrate on all of the things that have rocked my face off in the last 100(!!!) Faceless Friday posts. In the last two years I have been through so many things, and overcome just as much, that I think a more historical view of Faceless Friday is in order for today.
Let us begin.
Strength. Like most people I do not really care for change too much, but that is exactly what my life has been since starting Craughing. Change and lots of it. I went from owning my own home to being homeless. I went from being an abused and scared woman to being a woman who can stand her ground and put psychotic stalkers in prison. I went from being the poster child of codependency to working my ass off to be a woman that can say “no”, and mean it. I went from being suicidal to waking up every morning with the motivation to be a happier and healthier me… and I did it all with strength I did not even know I had buried in my bones. That strength and perseverance led to even more changes, and for those I am forever grateful. Having the strength to accept change, even if they are “bad” rocks my face off daily, and my soul dances because of it. I have learned that life really does ebb and flow and it is those that are happiest that can surrender to its ever changing currents.
Love. I have found love since starting Craughing, and all though The Fixer is amazing, and I do love him, I more specifically, and perhaps even more importantly have learned to love myself. I stopped beating myself up for the choices I made in the past, I learned to forgive myself, and to let go. I stopped holding on to the things that were weighing me down the most. I started seeing things not as an end, but as a beginning. Losing my house was one of the most devastating things in my life, but instead of wishing I was still there I started appreciating what I have now. I began to appreciate where I am now, both in body and in spirit. I do not deny the horrific things that brought me to this point, but I love myself enough now to also not let them define me. Being in love with oneself, appreciating oneself and being kind to oneself ROCKS.
Forgiveness. Self-love brings me to my next point, forgiveness. I believe that forgiveness is something that comes with age, or at least in my case it has. And the most important person to forgive is yourself. As cliché as it sounds, forgiveness really is a choice, and all though I am still not at the point where I can forgive certain people in my life, I CAN forgive myself for my part in certain situations.
Detachment. I have learned healthy detachment, and that is something that rocks my life fiercely almost daily. I can now step back from people, from situations, and see them a bit clearer and not let their actions and feeling dictate my own life. This has been one of the biggest and greatest lessons in the past two years.
Friendship. I have learned more about friendship in the last two years then all of my 30(something) years on the planet. I have learned that there really are people that care, and love unconditionally, and will stand by you no matter what is happening in your life. I have learned that people that love you will help you to grow and blossom at every chance they get. Friendships have made all the difference in my life, and I am grateful, so very grateful, for the friends that I have.
And now we shall move on to the short list, here are the things that have rocked my face off this past week:
My dear friend JDawg coming to visit me and then us getting matching friendship tattoos (mostly because we are awesome), COFFEE, Thin Mint creamer, my friend A sending me an awesome box of Thin Mints in the mail (how freaking cool is that!), exploring my city with my friend and learning about it more in a weekend then in the last year and a half I have lived here, My friend KT being so strong and awesome, her little baby Hunter thriving and gaining weight (hopefully they will be able to go home soon), finding a cheap local Japanese restaurant, The Beasts, The Fixer for all of his love, hard work and understanding, starting a little project at the tattoo shop!, my niece and nephew, rearranging the living room for the house plants, Diet Coke, cigarettes, being able to keep my mouth shut when I need to, walks, sunshine, dirt and being able to play in it, green starting to show up outside, candles, a dishwasher, having food in the house, music and new (to me) music, being excited about things, the possibility of new fabric for sewing projects…., and once again, YOU Craughers, you continue to rock my face off.