2013 proved to be a pretty damn good year for this Craughing girl. When I wrote my 2012 review last year, I remember desperately asking for 2013 to be joyful, peaceful, and filled with laughter, and it (the year) listened. Looking back on my life it seems like the “odd” years are typically my better years, and I have no real science to explain that… but I am hoping that 2014 proves that theory wrong.
The Twins were born on June 21, 2013. My youngest brother and his girlfriend welcomed these sweet babies into the world and my entire life changed. I had no idea that I could love someone (or two some ones) so immediately, and so completely. My niece and nephew stole my heart and grew our family within seconds of being born, if not before. My nephew proved, repeatedly, that he is a fighter and that he wanted to be in this world. We were blessed that he made it through a surgery, and is now growing and thriving…. And is now actually bigger than his sister. At six months old they are now rolling around, smiling and laughing. That is enough to complete the year with complete gratitude.
My Stuff. The Fixer and I decided it was time to finally get my stuff out of storage and it proved to be an adventure in awesome. Having my belongings have made me feel even more at home and has completed our home with some girlieness that the home needed. When I rented my storage unit it was only supposed to be for a few months, two years later it was a life changing, and chapter ending adventure in becoming even more myself. That and I drove a 26 foot UHaul truck by myself, so that is pretty bad ass. It feels good to be home. It feels good to have a home, and I can finally put to rest that I lost my former house in foreclosure. Being where you are meant to be puts to rest to a lot of past pains.
Adding to the pack. In November we added a little girl puppy to our little family. Her name is Josephine Pearl, Josie for short, and she has pushed our limits and added to the house in a big way. Nico Harper (Man dog extraordinaire) did not care for her at first, but has proved that he can set some of his jealousy aside for a little one, that and he really likes wrestling. Josie is growing in leaps and bounds and is already almost Nico’s size at four months. She is also pretty damn smart, if not a little OCD. We invite all quirks into this family, so she fits in well.
The Fixer and I rock this relationship stuff… for the most part anyway. We celebrated our one year anniversary in August, and my one year of living here in October. I specifically remember thinking, when we decided I would move in with him after only a month or two, that it would either be one of the best things that I did, or one of the worst. So far, it has proved to be a blessing and a great choice for the both of us. We laugh a lot, understand each other’s jokes and quirks and sing to each other random made up songs that make our hearts smile.
Overall 2013 was an exercise in growing into happiness. As a Codependent with CPTSD it was a hard transition for me, at first, to allow myself happiness, and to begin healing pains that I have long ignored. I still struggle at times with both of these issues, but am in a much healthier and happier place than I have ever been. I have found a great support system, have proved to myself that I can in fact be happy, and have come to terms with a lot of past hurts. It has not always been easy, but by taking life one day at a time I have finally discovered that happiness does not have to be at great costs, but is a choice that we make every day.
Let’s do a short review of all the awesome of 2013: My friend KT got married, I found a job I loved and made the choice to leave it after finding out the management was not there for the boys, The Psycho Stalker got out of prison and has not bothered me, I started counseling and learned about PTSD and my triggers, I became a resident of this state complete with an ID, My friend EM came to see me!!, my brother and his wife also came to visit and we got to see an awesome concert (Wookiefoot), The Fixer’s family continues to make this move a blessing by being amazing, my back keeps giving me fits but I have not had to have another surgery yet, I met some amazing women that have made me feel loved in every way, and I am still here, breathing and making the most out of this life.