Wow. That was one hell of a week. In the words of a very wise and witty Craugher “There is definitely some cosmic fuckery afoot.” This week has not only been emotionally draining on myself, but many of you as well. I found out that we can blame it on Neptune… but I prefer to blame it on Venus making contact with Uranus.
Twelve year old boy jokes aside, it is time for Faceless Friday, and no matter how fucked up things get, there are always things to be grateful for. Here are the things that rocked my face off this past week (in no particular order, of course).
The guys at the group home. I have no idea why, but they have seemed to take a liking to me, which means I get to drop some wisdom on them without them getting too upset. It may not make a difference, but the chances are that it COULD and that is something I am willing to strive for. I am grateful to be doing what I love (shitty backstabbing staff aside) and am grateful that these kids know they can talk to me, and that I always have their backs. Also, I took three of them to Applebees (I’m fucking fancy ya’ll) and it was amazing, mostly because two of the three had NEVER been to a restaurant that you sat down at. We sat, talked, laughed, had some appetizers and then had overly priced and delicious deserts. Being able to show them things in life ROCKS MY FACE OFF! Also having them call me when they are on a home visit because they want to talk… kinda a big deal.
New Underwear. I have gained a lot of weight and Nico dog eats all of my girly garments whenever he gets the chance (weirdo), so I finally broke down and got some bras that fit me… and I mean actually fit, instead of three boobs popping out the side of my bra, and five out the top. BUT that’s not all, underwear…. Lots and lots of underwear. All sorts from super hot to super granny. Feeling pretty even if I don’t really like my body rocks. (and it also rocks that they don’t have teeth marks in them).
Eating all of the things. I went sugar and carb free for a bit and then went apeshit, batshit crazy with the eating. I have eaten so much in the last month that I am actually ashamed of my gluttony. I quit caring about how food made me feel, and that it is actually FUEL and just ate for the fuck of it… and all I gained was a SHIT TON more weight. This rocks my face off because I am finally coming back around to realizing just how important fueling my body is instead of… hell, I don’t know, punishing it. Little steps to a healthier me.
Nico Harper. Every day I apologize to him for not being the momma that I was when I first got him from the shelter. I am riddled with GUILT EVERY DAY. EVERY. DAMN. DAY. But this damn dog, I tell you…. Loves me anyway…and always wakes me up with kisses when I am having nightmares, and always treats me like his favorite person ever (when The Fixer isn’t home anyway).
The Fixer. Speaking of The Fixer … I am grateful this week (and always) for his commitment to making our relationship work. He is brave and strong and I admire those characteristics in him. I also like that he is always about 10 degrees warmer than me, especially when I get home after midnight and want something warm to put my icy hands and feet on. That and when I had an exceptionally shitty night at work he woke up at 4 in the morning to talk to me. He believes in me and lets me know that, and that my friends, rocks.
And now for the short list because I am half cocked on wine and sleepy….
My friend KT is having TWINS!!!!, hot water and long baths, Barefoot Wine, Noodles and Company, My family, my momma e-mailing me almost daily, remembering random heartfelt things from my childhood, being able to talk to my friend JDawg as she struggles right now, cell phone reception and service, food, a home ( A HOME!!!!), candles and Frebreeze scents, Gain laundry detergent, new sheets that stay on the bed, a day off work, paychecks (!!!!), internet friends that get me and find me as likeable as I find them, Photoshop and quotes to stick on random pictures, milk, the Outlander series (seriously a blessing in my insomniac world), watching kids play basketball, not being a kid anymore, knowing that I can only do what I can for others and that is okay, being a recovering codependent, and YOU. My dear readers, YOU! Words will never be able to express how wonderful it feels to put random thoughts out there and having people relate. Thank YOU. Sincerely and deeply, thank you.