Finally, it is Friday, which doesn’t mean much to us unemployed, unless said unemployed person is MOVING in a week!!! I have so much to be grateful for, and so many things rocked my face off this past week that it is getting harder and harder to list everything (what an awesome dilemma to have!). So, here we go:
October. October is domestic violence awareness month and I have had the honor of sharing some of my story with you Craughers. The replies, messages, love and hope I have received has been overwhelming. When I wrote the letter to the courts about D I had hoped it would help heal me, I never imagined it would help others, but it has. I have received a hand full of messages that have completely rocked my face off. The amount of strength and determination it takes to leave an abuser can be staggering, but many of you have faced that challenge and have shared with me. My heart aches with you, and for you, and my soul swells with love as you go forward with your life. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey, and thank you for being a part of mine. Survivors rock my face off!!
Justice. Sometimes I forget how long of a road it was to get justice for what my stalker did to me. So, yeah, him being in prison? FUCKING ROCKS MY FACE OFF!! And being able to look him up in the prison system on my worst days? Yeah, that pretty much rocks too.
The Scrunchie Wielding Crew. What can I say about you ladies that has not already been said? You give me strength, courage and enormous amounts of love I did not believe was possible. Because of you, because of your stories, your lives and your determination in this life I am able to keep moving forward. Each one of you contributes so much to my everyday life, and my overall joy that I may never find the words to convey how in love I am with all of you. You, my dear hearts, rock my face off.
Emotional comas (also known as naps). I did not realize when I shared my story about the stalker, again, how draining it would be even now. I know it hasn’t been that long in the grand scale of things but so many things have changed I thought I could share it and not feel it again. I was wrong. It hit me, hard. I am grateful that I once again had the courage to relive those moments and the good mind frame to take naps when needed. Naps are so good for the soul sometimes, and therefore they rock my face off.
Supportive friends and family. I am moving, and not only just moving, but getting the hell outta here and going to a different state, one that doesn’t even touch the one I am living in now. Crazy? Awesome? Yes, all of those things, and luckily I have a great support system here that is encouraging, supportive and loving enough to let me fly when needed. This move will either be one of my greatest mistakes or greatest ideas, and only time will determine which is true. Luckily no matter what conclusion comes about I will always have these people in my corner, cheering me on, rocking my face off.
Understanding from others and from myself. My bones are old. You cannot tell it by looking at me, but my spine is all crumbly and falling apart, which causes a lot of pain, especially when my body is under stress. I appreciate how many people in my life have taken the time to understand what is happening with my body and allow me to lay down when needed and take breaks when necessary. It is not easy being in my thirties and having a spine of an 80-year-old woman. I appreciate those that understand that, stand by me anyway, and help me to stay strong enough to keep getting up and keep moving forward. I also appreciate when people want to do the heavy lifting for me without making me feel like a cripple. That rocks my face off.
Nico Harper. What else can I say about the man dog? He helps me, he has saved my life. When I am inside out and feeling down he helps me to come back alive and keep moving forward. I am so very lucky to have such an amazing companion in my life. And to think I use to be a cat person.
The Fixer. This past month has been hard with all of the changes that are so close, but seem to still be so far away. I appreciate his generosity, his understanding and his humor. His consistency helps me to feel grounded and secure, and that is a feeling I have not had in a very long time. He rocks my face off, and gives me so many reasons to feel so blessed. So. Damn. Blessed.
Coffee!! It wouldn’t be Faceless Friday without a shout out to coffee now would it? Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Yes, you sweet, sweet energizing drink of champions, YOU rock my face off!!
Music. When I am at a loss for words, and my soul craves an outlet, music is always there, embedded in my being, allowing me to express all of the wonders of my heart. Music, always music. Always.
Myself. Yes, that is right, I, myself, have rocked my own face off this past week. In my weakest moments, I am still a fragile young girl looking at the world with glossy eyes, wonderment and fear and in my strongest moments, I am brave, strong, and grounded. I have been all of these things in the past week as feelings have washed over me, through me, and have threatened to drown me a few times. Yet I swim. My life has been a constant current flowing to places I have yet to see, sometimes the waters have been dark, sometimes Caribbean blue, yet I keep swimming. And sometimes just having the courage to swim is enough.