So, technically The Self Worth Action Project has not been up and running for an entire week, but the response has been so phenomenal that I thought I would go ahead and share some of the stories, responses and SWAPs that have come into Craughing.
I posed this challenge to all Craughers:
If you value yourself, will your value grow? Is it that simple?
What have you done lately that has increased your self worth stockpile? What negative things have you SWAPped for self worth?
The most common thing I have found in reading your stories is that there are many of you (myself included) that say yes when you do not mean it, have time for it, want it, need it, or even like it. The most common SWAP of the week? Saying NO. That simply complicated response has left many of you feeling better about yourself, your life, and your family.
Here are this week’s SWAP stories!!! (Please note if you do not see your SWAP story that doesn’t mean it won’t be featured. Also, keep them coming as I have HUGE plans for all of your stories!)
- “Recently, I’ve begun seriously considering my own self worth and how that means I need to put my foot down for myself because I am finally in a place where I really like who I am without all the props- the fancy clothes, makeup, fake smiles, insincere pleasantries, impressive intellectual conversations, etc. So this week, for myself worth, I took a nap because I don’t take naps and my body needed a rest. I took myself out to a great lunch. I said NO to my work when they asked me to work extra hours because I need to spend time with my kids. I said YES when my kids asked me for one more bedtime story. I refused to drink to get out of a stress punch. I shut down the computer because it has become a time vampire”.
–Craugher Jersi Jo
- “THIS is what I’ve been waiting for, I told myself as I read your title. See, I am a sufferer of chronic pelvic pain. I believed that I was doing fine even though I lost my job teaching. Lost most my friends, could not get out of bed and did not wash my hair for a week. But I was FINE … Until my husband left me 4 weeks ago and I came to the sudden realization… It’s not. So I am working on my own self worth project because how can anyone love me when I don’t. It’s a struggle but I’m living and loving in the moment and people are starting to notice. I am gaining more self worth and others are picking that up. It’s a good feeling and the world doesn’t seem so dark anymore”.
- I struggle with my self worth on a day-to-day basis, but there is one area of my life that I will never compromise. My body. So many people have looked down on me for not believing in one-night stands. To this day, I am still called a prude because I refuse to give myself to a man when he wants it. Since when is it, a terrible thing to want to be in a relationship before you sleep with someone? Everyone I’ve ever been intimate with or will be, gets a piece of my soul. I was once promiscuous, and I paid for it deeply with my heart, soul and mind. I learned my lesson the hard way. I don’t care what anyone says whether it be my friends or from a guy, I won’t let you have me just because you want me. You have to earn me.
- Today we made a family pact to be nicer to each other…our house is full of genetic sarcasm and this was a major decision.
- I just read the cliché, ” A woman that is trying to keep everyone happy…is the LEAST happy woman”. So, I’m going to the river to get some BIG ROCKS, and I’m going to write a NAME on the rock, of someone that I have turned myself inside out to please, and I’m going to write down everything GOOD I can think of about them on a sheet of paper, and on another note I’m going to write every UNREALISTIC thing I think they want me to be…that is not me. I’m tying those expectations to a rock and sinking them to the bottom of the river and letting God figure the rest out. You know it’s just too heavy anymore. I’ve heard there is a period of grief in accepting my own limitations…but so far…just the idea…feels AWESOME. Example: Dear Porn-talk Guy…um…I don’t like porn talk. Haha (Sink that) *Dear Porn-Talk Guy You were really funny, and smart, and your family was so accepting and supportive of me. (I think I need to let that go with the rest of the package – that’s my point because the good came with the bad- GET IT?) I was holding on to a compromised sense of …value…of good…of me having meaning in compromised ways. I just want to have a good association. No strings. Dear Sister that thinks it’s disrespectful when I don’t call 72 hours ahead to visit, and after I drive 1,000 miles with kids in the car and no air-conditioning…. turns me and my children away. You’re right. I didn’t call. (Sink that) Dear Phone Etiquette Sister, you have done really well for yourself, and I’m proud of you.
– Craugher Prudence (And thank you for this AWESOME idea Prudence!! ❤ C.)
- …. So, what ALL of these words are trying to tell you is: The beautiful sun, my animals, & good memories have help me swap depression for MY self worth. I am worth MORE than sleeping all day. I am WORTH more than I tell myself sometimes. I AM WORTH MORE THAN GIVING UP. My stinkin’ spoiled animals think I’m pretty worthy, too!
- Acknowledging my emotions is a difficult thing for me. I’m a survivor. My mom is a drunk, I’ve been emotionally, physically, and sexually abused in my mid to late teens, and I was out on my own at 16. I’ve survived by burying how I feel and my experiences because I didn’t have the support to face them head on. I put my head down, focused on the hope I had for a better future, and carried forward. I wasn’t in the right place mentally/emotionally/physically to look at that pain. Fast forward to now…I’m 29 and everything is bubbling up. It can’t be buried anymore. I have to decided if I want to improve myself or to continue down the same path. Identifying self-worth via the empowerment of others in similar situations have allowed me to want to be vulnerable for the first time in my life. I no longer see vulnerability as a weakness; it’s a strength, something that fosters self-worth because in order to love yourself, you need to address the shit that bogs you down. Vulnerability allows you to do just that. Am I a master at this? Oh hell no. It’s hard for me just to take the time to sit down and write. I’m horribly inconsistent with blogging, posting on my page, and interacting with other people. That’s totally my fault and my responsibility. But every time I do reach out, I’m rewarded with love and recognition from others which in turn I can give back. This pushes me to write more to show others they are not alone, and the cycle repeats itself. I love this cycle! Say what? This introvert likes connecting with others? Yes, yes I do. It pushes me out of my depression, my anxiety, my pain, my sorrow. It’s so odd; it’s so easy to be open and vulnerable with a stranger than with someone I know…I’m working on this, too. Self-worth, to me, equals connecting with other people. Knowing I’m not alone pulls me out of my shell, opens me up, and enables me to be there for others. I LOVE SELF-WORTH!
For more SWAP stories visit the Craughing facebook page!
And my SWAPs for the week? Hmmmm…. I took a stand and looked fear in the face and kept working towards my future. I didn’t allow myself to get derailed this week by things that could be fleeting. And… I let an argument go… Yeah, kinda of a big deal to me.
Remember Craughers that if you do not see your SWAP story that doesn’t mean it won’t be featured. Also, keep them coming as I have HUGE plans for all of your stories! And with a grateful heart I thank you for sharing with me.