The Self Worth Action Project

I am new to the whole idea of self-worth. I have based my worth on so many different things that it has been a struggle to learn, to even try to accept, that only I can determine what my worth is, or that it has already been predetermined by the Maker, the Universe, by Love and Light.

I have compromised myself in profound ways. I have been ashamed, been broken, and I have been lost beyond recognition.  I have found comfort and attention in shallow ideals, shallow men, and vain attempts at love.  All of these have left me feeling emptier than when I began, and have continued my self-talk loop of questions of my own worth.  If someone does not find me attractive what is the worth quotient of that?  If someone does not want to be my friend how many self worth points is that? If I give myself wholly to someone and they do not understand it, or want it, how many points do I loose in myself worth stockpile? Do I even have a self worth stockpile?

The answer is that I have only recently starting building myself worth stockpile. I have done some amazing things in my life, I will not argue that, but I have done those things for other people. To help others, to make others happy, and sometimes as twisted as it is, to make them like me.  I have done shameful things for the same reasons.  All of these things have never made me feel better for very long.  Maybe for a minute I feel worthy of love, worthy of attention and worthy of acceptance… but these feelings are fleeting when they are based on others.  I have found, or rather am learning, that myself worth needs to be based on my own feelings, needs, desires and goals.

I said “No” the other day to a friend and struggled with it for hours afterwards.  I sought guidance from the scrunchie wielding bad-ass club I am proud to be a part of and this was the response I received: “Every time you say no to something like that it makes you more powerful and your self-worth stock goes up”.  Wow.

You mean… if I do positive things for myself, because I value myself, my value will grow?  Is it really that simple?  I am determined to find out and would like to challenge all of you to do the same.  So, I would like to introduce The Self Worth Action Project (SWAP). Tell me the things you have done throughout the week (and I will share as well) that built up yourself worth stockpile. What negative things have you SWAPped (see what I did there?) for self worth?

Someone wants to see a picture of your boobies and you say no? Cha-Ching self worth in the bank! You refused to drink after a stressful day? Bad-a-bing. You worked out instead of taking a nap, or eating? Self-worth points galore! You took a shower today? You fed yourself well? You said no when you meant no? Yes! Self worth!

Together lets see if we can have a positive idea and definition of self worth  and what it truly means to value yourself

Please contact me through my facebook page, or e-mail me at and share your SWAP story. You can post on the page or message me anonymously. Every week I will compile the stories and add it to our The Self Worth Action Project tab and share on facebook.

The Self Worth Action Project is copyrighted by

16 thoughts on “The Self Worth Action Project”

  1. I can NOT tell you how much I love this and how damn proud I am of you!! For saying “no” to your friend and for giving all of us an avenue to start recognizing and counting those things that enhance our self-worth. Love you!!!


  2. I was reading this and contemplating sending it to my daughter who struggles with self worth, I realize I need this as much as she does! Thank-you, (you just scored another point for opening a strangers eyes).


  3. I have been on the path to self worth for quite some time. For me, helping others to the degree to which I can be of actual, necessary, potentially life-saving service adds to my self-worth stockpile because I am grateful to have received help in the past and feel honored to be in a position to pay that forward. But so often I have requests from others that are trivial and suck the soul right out of me. Recently, I’ve begun seriously considering my own self worth and how that means I need to put my foot down for myself because I am finally in a place where I really like who I am without all the props–the fancy clothes, makeup, fake smiles, insincere pleasantries, impressive intellectual conversations, etc. So this week, for my self-worth, I took a nap because I don’t take naps and my body needed a rest. I took myself out to a great lunch. I said NO to my work when they asked me to work extra hours because I need to spend time with my kids. I said YES when my kids asked me for one more bedtime story. I refused a drink to get out of a stress punch. I shut down the computer because it has become a time vampire. I’m going to keep this self-worth thing up….its wonderful!


  4. This is a beautiful thing to ponder as I go about my morning. I don’t have much else I can say at this point, but . . . thank you should suffice, for now. Rock on.


  5. Absolutely Love your message!! I am learning the same lessons in life and learning about myself so much over the past two years, it feels like you wrote my thoughts.


  6. THISia what I’ve been waiting for, I told myself as I read your title. See, I am a sufferer of chronic pelvic pain. I believed that I was doing fine even though I lost my job teaching? Lost most my friends, couldn’t get out of bed and didn’t wash my hair for a week. But I was FINE … Until my husband left me 4 weeks ago and I came to the sudden realization… It’s not. So I am working on my own self worth project because how can anyone love me when I don’t. It’s a struggle but I’m living and loving in the moment ands people are starting to notice. I am gaing more self worth and others are picking that up. It’s a good feeling and the world doesn’t seem so dark anymore.


  7. You have some amazing reads here. Thank you for sharing this. It is like reading a mirror image of my own feelings, thoughts and experiences in life. I have been unable to articulate my feelings and thoughts for a while now and you just helped me. Thank so much! Much love and respect.


  8. I like that you are taking control of your life. It is important that we can say no with out falling sad.thank you.


  9. I used to be the “yes-woman”. Initially, I would feel good about myself because I was doing a selfless act for someone in need. For example, I fixed my aunt’s computer, helped another aunt with her college homework (even wrote a couple of papers for her). I lent that same aunt my un-worn wedding dress. I took away from time I didn’t have to help loads of people. But, I soon realized that, where It’s okay to help someone out, It’s not good to tie your self-worth to it if you’re being used. I did a good deed once and all of a sudden I was obligated to continue doing. I couldn’t do what I needed to do, ie. My college school work, and because of that my self-worth fell. In my own personal life I felt like I wasn’t good enough to be a parent, a daughter, a college student, a wife. I don’t mean to sound selfish when I say that doing for others did nothing for me. Again, It’s because I realized I was being used. There’s no self-worth fulfillment in that. Now that I’ve learned that I can’t take on the world and that It’s okay to say no, I can accomplish the things I need to. That builds my self-worth. And, because I can be who I need to be first for my family, when I am able to say yes to others, I know I’m not being used and I build my self-worth. Prioritizing has made a big difference. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.


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